She's JV to your varsity
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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