I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
