i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
