ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
