Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
