I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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