Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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