I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
