Kiss
Puke
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
