Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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