i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
