: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
it's like heaven, but drunker
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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