Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
