He asked me if I "almost moaned"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
