If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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