Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Found the puke drawer
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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