What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I could make wine with my vomit
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
