What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
