Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
