It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
