just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
