just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
