Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
