Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
