I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
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