I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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