Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
