the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
