I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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