he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Let's get the cat blown out
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I had to cum in my sink.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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