If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
