Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
