oh god the rape fog is back!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
