Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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