...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Umm I'm too high to move.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
The struggles of a small town man whore
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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