Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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