You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
