I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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