But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
