Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
