i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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