I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
