So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
