Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
