just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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