I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
