i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
