I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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