ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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