i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
